Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was born a porn star she said
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
