As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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