I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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