wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he fucked my hip out of place.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
