bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
