well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
