I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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