I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
false alarm. still invincible.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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