But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
