I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
