I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
