I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
