it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Randomize
