come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
