Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
