Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
