I swear she didn't look like that last week.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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