glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
