i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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