I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
