How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
