My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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