I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
