no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
