When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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