two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
