It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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