Where is the hickey?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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