the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
