Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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