god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
did i walk over a car last night?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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