BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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