please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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