Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
