Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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