Well apparently he's into motor boating.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
