Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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