he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
