Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
