I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
