Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
