I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
