the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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