Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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