bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
