Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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