and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
