Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
