I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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