I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
