My boss' voice literally gives me gas
im about as happy as oj after his trial
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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